Year 1: Done and DONE

Hello Lovies!

Sorry for the long long longgggg hiatus from blogging!

But let me explain why…

April was full of crazy, fun, stressful events that literally consumed my life. After my weekend at Davis for Picnic day it was a dead sprint to the finish line—aka May and the end of the year. Thank goodness for semester schools as I'm now on summer vacation.

A quick over view of the last half of April:

-Week long conference for the professional staff and all the 2nd year GA's. The first year GA's were left to rule the roost.
-Softball, volleyball IM playoffs
-Club sport games and tourneys
-A triathlon put on by the Rec
-A 5k put on by the Rec
-Finance project (37 pages long)
-Final global marketing paper (10pages long)
-Brand Management Presentation (30min long)
-Brand Management paper (15 pages long)
-Rec's end of the year banquet
-IM's end of the year party
-Life guard training
-Finals week
-(now May) Graduation

All of that in roughly 20 days.

You know I did exactly that.

Eww.

Oh and did I mention that it rained, like poured for most of those days? Yeah. Like sheets and sheets of rain, no way you can play softball and the fields were ruined. And the triathlon and 5k were in danger as well.

Everyday I was stressed about whether or not we could finish playoffs or continue planning for other events and than trying to run an office on your own is less than fun but we did it.

I'm still not sure how. Not a lot of sleep, a lot of coffee and lots of phone calls to my boss, my staff, my coworkers, etc. But I survived. We finished softball and volleyball. The triathlon and 5k went off swimmingly. The banquets went well too. And I finished all of my projects on time. (Some I turned in literally 60 seconds before they were due but it was on time)

And now I'm in Chicago visiting my friend and relaxing before I head back to summer class and my new job as a life guard for the Rec's pool. Recap of the last week though:

I said good bye to a lot of people who became my dear friends. The other GA's, the 2nd years are moving on with their lives and are heading out into the real world. I was sad to see them go though, as I had gotten used to seeing them almost every day and we became like a little gang of GA's, always there for when we needed to get the job done but still a bunch of goofballs too.

The hardest good bye was to my student staff. My first year staff. They will all have a special place in my heart. For the ones who were graduating and also moving on, I have to admit I was very sad to think about never seeing them again. I hate how people come in and out of my life. Terrible at change in this regard. But they were in it for a reason but time was up. I gave them all graduation gifts and little notes saying how much I appreciated their hard work and that I was proud of them. They made me feel at home when I was so scared 9 months ago. I'll never forget how even when some would call me up and have some sort of problem at the IM field, or make me want to pull my hair out, they still made me laugh and were a great group of people.

One in particular, I'll really miss, was this kid from way up north in Illinois who kinda has a voice of yogi bear. "Hey Boo-boo" type with a deep but funny tone.

He was literally a pain in my side, showed up late, always wanted to leave early and was the life of the party no matter where he was. But he was always knew how to make me laugh, even when he forgot he had a shift and I had to run to the fields to cover his dumb ass. He would walk up and I would try to keep a stern face but than end up laughing as he said "Hey, Mariss, real sorry about that, I'm a real big idiot…" and blah blah some excuse but I couldn't be mad for long. I'd be like "oh, Tim.." and then start laughing. We had a few good talks about his future too, and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Most of these happened at the bar too, or in a hallway between classes, never in a normal spot. But for as silly as he came off he is a very intelligent, deep guy and I loved being able to see that side of my student staff. Getting to know them on a more personal level than just a work level. Knowing they opened up to me and felt they could come to me made it all worth it. I do it for my staff and seeing them all work hard for me was probably the best part of my year.
I gave all my gifts out, and tried to hide them, as I think it's so incredibly awkward to give gifts in person. I leave them at doors, on people's cars, etc. And the best part was the little calls and texts of thank yous. I really will miss them and I'd rather not start crying in front of them so that was the best way. But it didn't really hit me until after graduation.

Oh Tim…I will miss that guy.

I had spent graduation night out at the wineries celebrating with my friend Amy. She came back into town to walk after taking this semester to student teach. She and I had kept in contact over the semester and I had really missed her. It was a great time and I was so sad though that it was such a short time. I'll come back to Chicago though and visit her during the summer. I absolutely loved her family and we had a blast talking and drinking and reminiscing and it was all around grand. It was later that night though when I was out with some friends and I saw Tim (the Yogi Bear guy) out too. He thanked me and said how he'd keep in contact and all I could do was hug him and say Ya keep in touch before the water works started. And he was just my student staff after 1 year, what was I going to act like when I left after 2 years?!

Ugh. I am such a girl.

But I was glad to have seen him and get to say good bye. Then it all hit me so hard after that.

It's just like last year all over again. I'm super sad to say good bye and graduations really do suck. Like really though, their long and not that much fun and it's mostly just remembering nostalgic times that you don't get to relive no matter how hard you want to. 

My first year. Done. Gone in what feels like the longest and fastest year of my life. One of my 2 year stint is checked off and I'm that much closer to being done for real for real.

Whoa.

Looking back it was definitely anything but easy. Lots of tears and phone calls home and to friends. Lots of reevaluations and wondering what in the hell am I doing with my life moments. Lots of fretting. Lots of frustration. Lots of disappointments.

But lots of laughs. And lots of good times. Lots of smiles, lots of happiness and lots of love too.

But before I get all sappy…let me just say this. I would not change it for anything. I mean it.

I learned more about myself than ever before. I learned who my real friends are and that change can be amazing. I learned how to be honest with myself which I think is half the battle. I never stopped learning. And I learned that I never will stop.

I still have a lot of room to grow. I'm still the shy girl from California who is insecure and scared a lot. I still cry whenever I say good bye. I still care way too much about others who don't care for me. But I'm working on it. Always a work in process. I'll never be perfect but I can be better.

I'm heading back to Carbondale tomorrow. This was a quick trip to visit and mostly just some time to relax and recover from a very crazy year. I loved it but today I took an accidental 3 hour nap. Oops, guess I needed it though after everything. Still hard to imagine that it's summer and I'm still out in Illinois.

So here's to finishing strong, finding even more about myself, but also to change. It's not going to be the same next year, and I'll make new friends and lose some people too. But change can be an amazing, and I have come to really love the place I'm at right now. And that's all I can ask for.

True story. 

To be continued!