I left off at the end of a delicious dinner in LA with the new fam-bam.
Next day was rehearsal dinner but we had all day to just hang out. So what did we do? Go shopping naturally.
It may be an addiction but it's so much fun.
So we went out and had plenty of choices of malls and locations to choose from, it's LA, you can literally get anything you want, they are endless.
LA is a pretty fun city. Sure, the traffic is bad, you're taking 4 different freeways to maybe go 10miles or sometimes more for less, but it's alive and thriving. So many people and so many sights to see and experience. Another city on my list of places I'd be ok with trying to live in. And as my aunt and uncle live there, it wouldn't be so lonely. (hint hint, I'll be looking for a job next year, you guys!)
After a day of shopping we end up taking the 210, to hwy 34 to I-5 and then the 158 to our hotel (I'm joking, but it does sound like that when locals talk directions) to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.
My sister and I like to plan these events by outfit. So we have a thursday outfit, a brunch outfit, ceremony, casual dinner, fancy dinner etc. etc. But we like to have options too. So what seems like a normal amount of clothes for a weekend wedding that lasts oh about 3 and 1/2 days. Apparently 8 dresses was ok. And then I bought another. This is why it takes us girls over 2 hours to get ready for anything. Because we change our minds a bajillion times and with each change of clothes, our makeup changes and our hair dos and that necklace looks so good with the maxi dress but it clashes with that sun dress…
And it's not like we don't have enough. I had 8 dresses for pete's sake and I still felt the need to get another one. Might as well sign me up for shopaholics anonymous. Care to be my sponsor??
Not the most rational excuse but hey, I'll take it.
We head off to the rehearsal dinner with the fam in tow. It was held on Occidental's campus, and it was a chance for the New Yorkers to meet and mingle with the Californians.
This group of New Yorkers though…lets just say that while I embody the stereotypical bleach blonde California girl, these folks are every bit of exactly what I think of when I hear 'I'm from New York'.
Nasally accents, loud, boisterous, avid sports fans but only loyal to all that is New York even if it's hockey and they've never watched a single regular season game all year, by gosh, they're the biggest New York Ranger/Yankee/Giants/Nets whatever fans you ever did see and the mood levels go up and down faster than any bipolar person's as the game goes on. Also, herein lies why I mentioned the Jewish deal before. All of them, Jewish. Maybe not all but a lot. And they are cracking jokes about it, and it just adds to the whole scene of Jewish New Yorkers coming to visit their new California Blonde friends and family.
Love is blind and the heart wants what the heart wants. It may have taken Angus to travel 3000 miles away from the biggest city in the country to find love but hey, makes for a cute story line.
But man oh man was it a good time. Meeting Angus's family and friends was great. Most of the people who came out for the big event had been his life long friends. I mean life long. Stories of how they met in 2nd grade and stayed close throughout the years. I don't think I talk to anyone from second grade class or even remember anyone. And the stories they told about how they grew up in the Big Apple, how they came to know Manhattan and Brooklyn better than the back of their hand and all the places they would go and the trouble they would get in. Some seriously awesome stories.
This is how I picture the NewYorkahs (say it in your best New York accent) in their youth- running around the streets of Brooklyn doing hoodrat things with their friends.
The dinner was catered by some BBQ place that was a favorite of the couples. Never without good food. Never. But as I know live only about an hour away from the BBQ capital of the world (St. Louis, MO) and I have had my fair share of BBQ since living out here, it wasn't exactly the best. Good, but when you've had the real midwest deal, California's BBQ doesn't cut it. But they did have some really bomb sangria that I may or may not have had more than my allotted 2 glasses and I'm safe from being the drunk niece at the wedding. Sue me.
After seeing some old friends, making new and eating, drinking and being merry, one of the New Yorkers made a toast.
While the couple didn't have a wedding party, this is what will go down in history as the best best man speech I have ever heard.
This was one of the original Lunch Bunch crew, and he kinda told a super hilarious but very touching story about their friendship. How they went to school together for such a long time, went off and got married one by one, and how they all had been apart of each other's weddings. How they screwed up some photos, got a little too drunk at the reception, got stage fright during a speech, etc. I never laughed so hard until I heard about how Angus passed out during the wedding photo session and almost fell into the Hudson River because he had gotten wayyyy too drunk at the rehearsal dinner the night before. Priceless. But the main theme was about how they had been there for each other through good times, moves, break ups, career changes and everything and just how happy they were to see him and his wife to be so incredibly happy.
I really hope someone video taped that speech because it really was entertaining but so full of love too, there probably wasn't a dry eye in the place, either from crying laughing or crying from how sweet his words were.
The rest of the night was spent finishing dessert a few more glasses of sangria and taking countless photos with the bride and groom.
The night was great and there was a whole lot of love. And it made me think about how we define 'happiness'. So here's my version of a bride's maid speech.
My aunt Tammy is my mother's baby sister, and I was born right around the time she graduated college. But even though she is my aunt I have always looked up to her like an older sister. I remember how she and my Nana and Poppy would always come for Christmas and sometimes birthdays and other holidays and how we always had the best time making ginger bread houses, doing our nails, just silly little things. She's a huge supporter of mine and was there for me at my own graduation even though I was going to see her 2 days after it, she still came and it meant a lot to me.
One particularly fond memory I had with her was while on a walk. I was barely in high school, but we got into a conversation about college and choosing who I want to be when I grow up. She talked about how she chose her major and really loved it in school but didn't want to be in that field forever and ever. How she was still figuring it out, going to get her Master's at the time and just had some vague plans but that the most important thing was to just keep trying new and different things to just experience it all and have more choices. She told me that it was never ok to settle, to take my time in deciding and that my happiest years would be in college.
It wasn't until I went off to college that I realized how important that walk was. Even though Tammy went into the recreational field, I didn't exactly follow her footsteps. Or mean to anyway. It just kinda happened. I got on at UC Davis, she kinda just mentioned the acronym NIRSA and about 2 years later I became a GA. She pursued sport clubs, and whether I like it or not, Sport Clubs have more or less been my specialty in addition to a little bit of the IM side. She's named dropped and I have reached out to those people and most of the time as soon as I say I'm Tammy's niece they get very nostalgic and excited to hear how she's doing and that I look and act a lot like her.
I think that might be my favorite compliment. "You are just like your aunt!" was once said to me at a conference when I finally got a chance to sit down and talk to one of Tammy's old bosses who now works at SIU. (if you thought the world was small, the rec world is even smaller) And I couldn't help but feel really proud. And why not? She's beautiful, a successful woman who has her doctorate and loves her job, a cute puppy named Polly and now is happily married living in LA. She's the cool aunt who has a season pass to Disneyland and loves to take all her family and friends to the happiest place on earth even though she's probably been there 1000 times.
And I know she's really happy now. I was fortunate enough to go on a trip with her to Paris, with her, Amos, my Nana and her friend, Jack. It was a little weird, I kinda felt like the child of two divorced parents, going with my Nana and Jack in the morning for breakfast and then to the historical sites and museums and then getting passed onto Tammy and Angus in the afternoon with more spontaneous less structured adventures that usually involved finding this really good place for falafels or cafe, checking out the music festivals, etc.
That trip was the best time with just us. Family vacations are fun but we had so much time together I really got to see Tammy and Angus for who they are as a couple. They argued over directions, they argued over what to do that day and where to go. But he adores her. And she him. It was evident in how they act together and even apart. He would do the things she wanted to do, like go shopping and walk into really expensive jewelry shops and try on tiaras and rings and necklaces but walk out without buying so much as a single stud earring (that one was hard as I couldn't breathe for fear of ruining the 5,000 euro watch I was looking at and Tammy was trying on rings worth 3x that. gasp) *these were the rings that inspired her wedding rings. ya i helped with that ok no not really but I'm claiming it.* and she would do the things he wanted like check out the less touristy areas, and find the best falafel in all of paris or let him go out at 2am to find a pub that was playing the NBA playoff game. (he really did)
And you could just tell that she, both of them, were happy. Really happy and in love. Not the cutesy let's kiss by the eiffel tower (even though they did but it was tasteful) in love but happy with one another just being together or even apart. So hearing that they were getting married was very exciting and I was happy because of their happiness.
Yes, it seems like my aunt has it all. The looks, the job, the dog, the guy, gets to travel, disneyland season pass holder, etc. But this was a long, long, long time coming. It wasn't an easy road, and she had a lot of trials and tribulations along the way. But I knew in Paris that she was the happiest I had ever seen her. Until I saw her at her wedding weekend that is.
Thanks to her, I know right now is ok, but it's not the happiest I will be. It may take a lot of time. I can't settle though and to trust that better is coming. But I'm ok with that because they were ok with waiting. It was worth it for them. And if I end up only a little bit like my aunt, well, I'll consider that a huge success in my book.
Next blog post will be about the actual ceremony. To be continued!
Terrible photo but it's of all of us in Paris. And my favorite.
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