Wake Me Up When September Ends

Holla friends!

I find that this year has barely started and then I go, whoa, I'm in the 4th week of school...
Father Time, I'm going to need you to slow your roll...this is crazy!

Quick 20 second snap shot of what those 4 weeks have consisted of-

IM clinics
High school Volleyball Officiating
Falling asleep in class (my classmate woke me up before the professor noticed)
Needy Club Sports (see below)
Meetings, meetings, and more meetings
Reports
Paper work
Paper work
...did I mention paper work?
not passing my first test
getting A's on everything else
Not sleeping
looking at job ads
not looking at my resume
Drinking pots and pots of coffee everyday
not sleeping

Whew...

Yeah. That's pretty much been my life. So let me explain in a not 20 second version...

I'm running about 41 club sports and numerous IM Sports. My coworker has the IM side down almost perfectly so a lot of my time is devoted to sport clubs. To be fair not all 41 need a whole lot of help. There's about 15-20 that are especially needy...practice times to reserve, equipment to purchase, travel, insurance, etc, etc.
But that's my job. It just means that I max out the my spending limit super fast because I buy things every day and buy obscure things like paint ball guns, archery quivers, rugby balls, soccer jerseys, equestrian award ribbons, quidditch brooms, etc, etc.
It all adds up super fast. And the next thing I know, I've maxed out for the month and it's only 11 days into the month.
Oops...

Other than that, we're changing a lot but it's somewhat working out. I think we're doing an ok job. I love it, I'm getting to know most of the clubs really well and trying to spread myself out 41+ different directions. But it's all good.

I'm also officiating high school volleyball occasionally to get some more money. It's fun and I miss playing a lot. It's kinda cool to be up on the stand watching the girls and thinking "Man, that was me...8 years ago...god I'm old!"
But then I get a check and I'm like sweet deal! I'll take a few outbursts from coaches screaming at me for that money.

Meetings, and paper work...that's a given. I'm a graduate student with a (part) time job (parenthesis because it feels like a full one) and that just comes with the territory.

I'm starting to look at big girl jobs more and more now. Yikes. That sure is frightening. Not a whole lot of positions open right now, but it's never too early to start thinking about it, right?

My professional staff thinks so too and they're really great about giving us more chances to prepare. Like impromptu interview questions that throw you for a loop in front of everyone at the GA meeting and you start to babble and ramble like you're back in high school and you say 'um' over 17 times in just one answer...

Well..that sucked.

Ugh. That was a bad day. But it's all in the name of helping me prepare. Right? (Just nod your head and say yes.) We also sit down and do mock interviews with the staff and you bring in your application for a job that you would actually apply for and they go through the whole process AND video tape you so you can watch it afterwards to take note.

I had a mock last year. Let's just say it's probably the scariest movie I've ever seen. It's worse than Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Silence of the Lambs.

Me, watching myself on tape. Horrendous.

But all the constructive criticism is good. (again, just nod your head and say yes) It is helpful, honest, it brings you down to earth and reminds you just how unprepared you are for the real world. I'm currently working on not laughing/giggling when I'm nervous or scared, saying 'um' and 'like' every other word. (the Cali girl in me comes out REAL thick when I'm nervous...I almost flipped my hair but restrained from pulling a complete Clueless moment.)

It's just uber painful to go through it and try to better yourself. It did kind of put me in a panic though after I bombed just the one interview question. I immediately ran to my boss the next day and fretted to him.

"I'm not ready! I'm a terrible GA! I can't make it as a real boss! I'm just a like silly student supervisor on steroids, and I'm going to fail! Why aren't you helping me!?"
He kinda leans back in his chair, folds his hands...
"What's today's date?"
"September 15th, but what does that have to do with anything I just said!?"
"Right, September. Exactly. M., you've got 8 more months with me. You're barely a second year GA, you probably are more of a first year than a second year right now. We have time. Calm down. I got you."

Maybe the best thing for me to hear at that point.

He probably wanted to do this but I'm glad he didn't.

Sorry but it's scary for me. Just 12 months ago I was blogging about how I was worried about my staff liking and respecting me and how I would like living in Carbondale. And now I'm fussing over my next big step. The actual real world.

Why does life through so many big life changes at you when you're so so young? WHY
First big one is going to high school. Hindsight, it was the easiest of them all but man, those halls were terrifying the first day.
Next college apps, and SAT's, and then bam! you're out of high school and it's the big move to a new place, a new home and you're only 17/18 years old?? Who thought that was a good idea??? You go through scared as hell but having the time of your life at the same time and about 4 years later society goes "Hey, congrats! You're done! Now settle down and find a real career and become a contributing adult with bills and obligations and responsibilities! What you always dreamed of!" Umm...no thanks.
And then, if you're like me you go on to grad school to just post pone that last part of life, and it's like college all over again, apps, and loans and scholarships and interviews and BAM (again!) you end up moving 2,000 miles away from home. AND THEN....it's finding new friends, figuring out school, you're scared as hell only you have to put on a good face because they put you in a work setting and you're just internally screaming "I've only lived for less than 25 years! 25!!! That's like a blip on the Earth's timeline! Who thought that that's enough time to be ready for ANY of this!!" And they say that 2 years is plenty of time and that you need to start being more professional and market yourself and sell yourself for potential employers and be better at everything and you're still just smiling but  screaming internally "I'm not ready! Is anyone listening?? I'M NOT READY!!"

No explanation needed.

whew. sorry. rant over. But that's a lot of big BIG changes and detrimental life choices to be making and you're barely old enough to drink legally.

That's wack.

But ce la vie, life goes on, and as much as I try (and I really do try) to slow down time it keeps on trucking along and I have to do everything in my power just to keep up.

Sometimes it takes a blog update and a phone call to my daddy to make me a little less crazy but it's all good.

Now I'm going to go check on my beloved sport clubs that have tournaments this weekend and then maybe I'll think about updating my resume. Or maybe I'll save that for tomorrow. It is only September.

To be continued.