Year in Review

So my last post was....yeah...right before I ran the NYC Marathon.

I couldn't make it without my mom, so she and I met up in New York, New York. She also brought along my grandmothers. Yes. Plural. Both my Nana and my Grandma (that's their names) made the trip from Yreka, California just to watch me run. Crazy but I guess they love me or something.

We met up on late Thursday night, me coming into Penn Station and my entourage would meet me there. enter scene -

Me walking off the train from Albany, taking an escalator (just following the crowd) calling my mother on my cell phone.

"Mom, I just got off the train- are you here?"

"Hi, Baby!! We're here, waiting for you right by the Dunkin Donuts."

"Umm.. Mom??"

stares at Dunkin Donuts sign. Mother no where in sight, in fact it's just me and 1 other person stopped at the Dunkin Donuts, everyone else is walking to their trains, moving around.

"Mom, I'm AT a Dunkin Donuts right now." 

"I don't see you, no keep walking."

"Mom, any further and I have to go behind the counter."

"Oh. I guess there's more than 1 Dunkin at Penn Station."

There are in fact like way more than 1...more like 14. 

That's basically the theme of the entire trip - where are we, what subway do we need to take and why am I navigating NYC with 2 grandmothers and my mother (I needed prayers for my sanity, not for my race). 

But we had a great couple of days leading up to the race. And I was so blessed to have both grandmothers, and my mom to help cheer me on and support me in the biggest moment of my life.

It was me and 52,999 other people. That's 8 of my hometowns in one spot. That's a full Yankee Stadium the players, staff and then some.

It was awesome. It was also over a year ago...

womp womp.

So what's been going on in the past 12 months? I ran and finished the NYC Marathon. Major cool points. I became great friends with my kickball teammates. That's probably the main reason I don't blog anymore...I have a life now! I have real friends!

I experienced my first snow storm that called for a state of emergency and I was stuck in my apartment for 30 straight hours. And I experienced real snow and digging my car out for the first time, and not the last.
I hired a new graduate assistant for the Fall.
My parents came out to visit in the spring. We bought a bunch of plants to get the smoke smell out of my apartment (neighbors) and now I'm a plant freak.
I went skiing in Vermont, so close to Canada, that we could take a trail that basically went over the border and back.
I played kickball.
I went out with friends and learned that there are still very genuine people who do care and make the world a little bit better.
I fell in love.

I tore my ACL on that ski trip (don't ski in -25 degree weather. just don't)
I had to get ACL surgery in May.
I watched my first GA graduate and get his first job.
I cried when my students graduated.
Mom flew out to take care of me after surgery for 10 days (mom of the year award for sure)
I had to live with my friend from kickball for 6 WEEKS because I wasn't able to climb stairs or drive that time.
I got my heart broken.
I loved living with a friend even if I felt like a high schooler waiting on mom to pick me up and drop me off from school (it was work).
I went through hours and hours of physical therapy.
My knee hurt. A lot. But I'm allergic to opioids and found out the hard way.
I found a mouse. And then another one. And another one. They made a little home in my apartment while I was out for surgery.
I went to Florida to visit a friend from grad school.
I went kayaking with crutches. Well, just crutches to the bank, and then regular kayak paddles, duh.
I went to Cape Cod with college friends for a whirlwind 30 hours.
I moved! Again! Ugh I hate moving. But I had to get out of Mickey Mouse Play House.
I went to a wedding where I knew neither groom or bride and had a complete blast (open bar holla!).
I went to a wedding that would rival my big fat greek wedding - easily $100,000 spent and it was the coolest, fanciest wedding I will ever attend in my life.
I went on dates.
I didn't go on 2nd dates.
I hiked one of the 46er mountains, Cascade Mountain after 4 months post op. My knee did great.
I vacationed with my family in Myrtle Beach.
I got a second job. Working in catering with the concert venue in town - I'm a waitress for the suite boxes.
I turned 26.
I went to a friend's wedding in Southern Illinois and it was great to catch up with old friends.
I caught the bouquet!
I have a new mentor at work. A strong female who is successful and an all around boss. She has me meditating and working on going from young professional to just professional.
I put on the 2nd annual flag football workshop at UAlbany.
I went to the Region I Club Soccer Tournament and met new cohorts and new friends in NIRSA.
I saw the Liberty Bell and climbed the Rocky steps.
I brought students to  NIRSA flag football tournaments and conferences. I'm so proud of how far our little program has come.
From October 1 to Dec 3rd there are 10 Sundays and I spent (will spend) 3 of them home, the other 7 I was living out of a suitcase.

And that's it. For the past 12 months. Whew.

It's really cool to look back on everything I did. And all the experiences I shared with people I call my friends and family. I have new, great friends and still have great not so new friends that I still get to talk to and stay in touch with.

And that's my 2017 in review. What a trip it has been.

I can't promise I'll continue as much with these blogs. I'm a busy girl trying to work 70 hours a week between 2 jobs (now 3 with officiating) but I 'll try a little bit harder ;) 

Last One Before Race Day

Tick Tock goes the clock...

5 1/2 days.

140 hours.

and then the big 26.2.

It's almost here! Remember that one time I won a Marathon bid and I was like "Oh I have plenty of time."

That was over 6 months ago. Actually it was 230 days ago to be exact.

And here it is! I leave for NYC to meet my mom and grandmothers for what will probably be the most excruciating painful/moving/inspiring/goshdarnit moment of my entire life on Wednesday and then I do the thing on Sunday and it could very well beat many big milestones to come...or I might die.

I'm running a marathon. THE New York City Marathon. The Marathon of all flipping marathons...

Kind of how this week just crept up on me...oh look, it's here.

I am so nervous I could puke. I'm running a little everyday and I keep thinking there's no way can I do this. No way. I didn't run the 20 miler like I was supposed to. I ate cake and candy on my birthday, I had fun and stayed out on a Friday night past my bed time, I played kickball and ended up kind of hurting my knee like 2 weeks ago, I'm trying to be a high school basketball ref and that has taken time from my training, my job has me stressed out...I'm finding every possible excuse I can to validate myself if I fail. Because I'm human. And I'm scared.

But I raised (with the help of many many wonderful friends and family) over $3000 for a great cause. I can't let any of those amazing kids or you guys down.If they can battle cancer, I can do this.

I was feeling extremely overwhelmed a few days ago so I called my dad. He told me what I have always heard him say to me before every softball game, basketball tournament, job interview, final exam...
"Mind over matter, Shorty. You have to tell the negative voices to shut up on that day. You need to remember all of the people who are proud as hell of you and that you can and you will do this. Mind over matter."

And he's right. I do so much better knowing that no matter the outcome, I'll be ok. The sun will still rise in the east, and set in the west. I will still have my friends and family. The money still goes to the kids. I still made a difference. I did a really good thing. And not just for the blog.

I'll admit it's not just nerves, I am full blown scared. I'm running alone. Sure there might be strangers around me, but I always feel the most alone surrounded by people...so that's good. For 6 hours I'll be by myself, quiet, with my own thoughts. And my own thoughts aren't nice. They tell me to quit. To just stop. That I can't.

My half marathon didn't go so great. I did really well the first 8 miles. I was on pace, I had timed out when I needed water, and when I would need some Gu (some paste thing that's compacted with calories and electrolytes for runners. it tastes and looks like goo, hence the name) The last 5, sucked. I was running alone - most spectators had moved on, and no one was running  around me. I had a pack of maybe 4 runners ahead of me that I could see but they were too far for me to really grab on to that energy to keep up. I slowed way down. Like way, way, wayyyyy down. I walked. I cramped up. I even stopped to stretch and tie my shoes. And I was disappointed with myself at the finish line. I knew I could do better. But I had prevented myself from reaching that goal because I got into my own head. The negative voices took over. I got down on myself and was never able to get back up.

I know that it won't be like that next Sunday. There are over 10,000 people and I was told by past runners that you're never alone - there's always someone near you at all times. As my hometown only has about 6,000 people, I can't really fathom that amount. What does 10,000 runners look like?? But they were all positive, chipper people who probably enjoy running more than 3 miles and probably like talking to strangers. Yeah...no...socially inept is more my thing.

Chipper people...the worst.

So here is my plea to all of you reading this for a favor. It doesn't cost anything, I promise.

-Send some encouragement/good vibes my way. Help me keep the voices at bay - send a quick facebook post of encouragement, a text message, a favorite quote...heck, even 1 smiley faced emoji would make me smile and that might help me jog and not limp another mile. You can download the TCS NYC Marathon App and once I find out my bib number, you can follow me throughout the race at the various check points that I'll pass through. Download it and then tell me you "saw" me at mile X or Y and that you care. I'll have my phone on, and maybe even give you a call. I got 6 hours to kill, and I don't know if my playlist will keep me going for 6 hours. (It's at 4 hours right now but some songs are meh...just filler space) Don't judge my pace time - when you run a marathon, we can talk about how I'm slower than a turtle in molasses but NOT a moment sooner.

I know you do care. You all invested in this journey with me 230 days ago since you're reading this now as that's all I have talked about. But I don't like to say I need help. But I do. I have to ask for a little help.

I'm going to finish this marathon. I have ran for the past 230 days and have hit over 200 training miles in the process and you've been there every step of the way. It would just be really great if you could all cheer me on for the last, and  most important 26.2 miles.

I got this. Maybe. Yes, I do. We'll see. Yeah, no, I got this, I got this.

The next time you'll hear from me will be post-marathon. *insert internally screaming here*

To be continued!!

Marathon Training Update

Hello from Syracuse, New York!

I'm currently eating my carb loaded spaghetti and meatball dinner with a side of banana (for potassium) and half water/half powerade (for electrolytes and hydration) watching Sherlock Holmes alone in this hotel patiently waiting for in 12 hours I'll be waiting with about 1,000 other people for the gun to go off and then to run 13.1 miles.

I paid for this race. I paid for this hotel room. I paid to get here. I could be out having a beer but apparently me and 1,000 others are completely BONKERS and wanted to go run instead.

How every single non-runner sees us. Including me.

It's for my marathon training - I'm exactly 3 weeks from the Marathon and this will be a good way to train. Or so my online trainer says. I'm 'supposed' to work on my pacing - to not start too fast and to learn when my body might need pee breaks/water breaks/walk breaks/good lord wtf am I doing breaks/call the ambulance right now breaks. I know. I'm currently thinking about how I could be home right now but here I am.

I want to work on my timing and my ability to calm myself down when I hit that "runner's wall" or whatever. The runner's high doesn't actually last the entire marathon for most - it goes away and some people get it back but I can tell that won't be me. I'm going to lose it around mile 5. Oh yay. Only 21 miles of pure agony.

While this isn't my first half marathon it is my first big race by myself. I'm not with other friends and I had to register, get the hotel, and now mentally prepare.

Mentally preparing is the worst. Typical scenario - woo, yay, excited, we're here, in the hotel on a mini vacation. I got my outfit planned out. I have my Gu (basically food like product that is literally gooey and slightly disgusting but it gives you some much needed calories and energy while running without stoping to eat a burger) and my socks and shoes and a playlist ready.

How most runners look. Happy. Smiling. So goddang photogenic.

But while that's all fine, I somehow ALWAYS forget the pain right around mile 5 and how desperately I want to just end and die right there.

How I look running. Just. No.

This time though...I've trained a lot more. I've ran more than 5 miles more than anyone should ever run and while I still hit the dreaded number 5 with a lot of sweat and groaning...I'm hoping I can get through that mile a lot faster this time around.

I'm also nervous at what to do at the end. I won't have anyone to run to, no one to high five or at least hug because good lord your body just went through a traumatic event and a hug is kinda like the pity prize. But here's to new experiences and learning to be ok with being alone. Even during a half marathon.

I know my body pretty well and I know I'm not going to be fast - I had a rough 2 weeks with that flag tournament and the stress took a toll and not in a good way. But I'm hoping that I can shave some time off my old time of 2 hours and 50 minutes and get around 2:40/2:30. Because that means I can finish the marathon in 5 hours (Oprah did it in 4.5 so I'm giving myself a little more time but not much more...).

So here's to that delicious spaghetti and banana and an early bed time (hello Advil PM). Wish me luck! Here's to one step closer to that marathon! (Internally screaming) It's all going to be great!

See you at the finish line!

Post Number 101

Cross out Dalmatians and add Blog. No wait, leave Dalmatians, that's one of my favorite movies!

You lucky dog, you. You're reading my 101st blog post! If you've read all 101, you're either a)obsessed with me or b)my mother or c) just bored and have nothing better to do, but I thank you anyway! And hope that I can give you lots to laugh and shake your head at for many more blog posts to come!

What else to talk about than my crazy work-filled/marathon training/mishap life?!? 

First- This last weekend UAlbany IM's put on a Flag Football Officials' Clinic and Tournament for NIRSA. And yours truly was the Tournament Host/Director/NOT AT ALL QUALIFIED BUT SURE I GOT THIS THING person in charge.

Internally screaming Noooo for the love of God nooooo!

Let's take a stroll down memory lane shall we? Yes, let's. 

-Less than 3 years ago I went to my first NIRSA Flag Football Tournament at Notre Dame in the Fall of 2013. And I was astounding by the intensity, the level of knowledge the other clinicians had and I was frigid. Like frozen to the bone the entire time. I wrote about it in my blog and talked about how amazed I was and that I definitely felt like a baby dolphin in a sea of sharks. One of these is not like the others...and she's way out of her league, that's me!

Just add about 3 inches of snow, wind at 30 mph and picture me shivering to death trying to keep score and that was what Notre Dame looked like.

Now, fast forward to September 30th, 2016. And there I was setting up fields and hotels, and working out every last detail that we had already scoured over for the past 9 months preparing for this endeavor. 

We had 5 teams (barely, thanks to Boston for bringing some kiddos to combine with my kiddos to make a semi-legit team) 30 officials, 12 clinicians (a few of whom that LITERALLY wrote the flag football rule book. Not joking or exaggerating in the slightest either-cross my heart) 6 student staff members at any given time, not enough pizza (apparently when feeding 50 officials it's actually like feeding 75) a social that I'm fairly certain the wait staff have black listed us from returning (no one got too rowdy but we definitely saw some regular patrons walk in and then walk right back out), a bit of a hotel debacle as the poor college kid got SUPER frustrated with my room list and said "whoever made this reservation is a FREAKING GENIUS" and then I walked up and said, Hello, I'm Marissa and I'm your freaking genius. That shut him up. We also had one Field hockey Ref that got upset that our whistles for the tournament would interrupt the UAlbany Field Hockey game vs. Maine and made us move fields (still bitter. Very bitter. Not going to lie, I'll stay bitter probably forever, no offense Maine Field Hockey but I won't ever like you) AND we somehow managed to pull it off.

Freaking Field Hockey...Who actually plays this sport anyway??

All of the games were played. No one forfeited. All of the officials got to watch and learn and take back some solid knowledge and experiences that they can take back to their prospective campuses. We had a New York team win and move on to a Regional Tournament (like the one I went to at Notre Dame. See the theme here? We do lots of tournaments in rec sports) and I spent roughly 40 hours working this weekend (I got about 4 hours of sleep each night).

Marissa, MBA, Recreation Professional, AND Successful Tournament Host. Yes, I'll be adding that to my email signature. I don't care if I look braggadocious, I am freaking proud of myself and my team for doing what we did. 

My GA and the Supervisors worked their tales off. Did I mention that we had 5 other club soccer teams on campus for a round robin of games? Yeah. And that we still had IM Slow Pitch Softball to play? Yep. Count that too. I have a staff of 9 and needed 12...every single one of them did at least one shift. Many did much more. They put in major work and I'm getting them all donuts for tomorrow's morning supervisor meeting.

Even though I can't hide my emotions and everyone could tell my anxiety and stress levels were through the roof, I had a great time. I love it. I laughed with some other rec professionals that were there at Notre Dame 3 years ago when I was just getting started. I met others and was able to expand my network but also my friend list (more important, obvi). And I think everyone was impressed with our little program that we have at UAlbany. We do with what we have the best that we can. If that means using racquetball courts as a conference room, then so be it. If that means we have 3 undergrads, 1 GA and 1 clueless professional (me) lining fields hours before the first game would start because we had to wait for grounds keeping to finish mowing the grass then you can bet on us being out there, liners and fresh paint ready to go. (Those lines were actually kinda awful and not straight but who brings a protractor to work everyday...) 

Braggadocious is actually a real word. True story.

And I was once again, amazed by how great my staff did. They are a good bunch, and they work very hard. And I was complimented by others on how great they were. This isn't the first time it happened but I am that mother hen that is just beaming with pride over her little chicks. They're all growing up so fast! 12 months ago they were all little babies who had big, wide eyes and now they basically run the program without me (basically. If my boss reads this, I don't want to lose my job).

They have come a long way. And I'm excited for their future. If I can help them become contributing adults to society through IM Sports, then it was a good day in my book. Not all of them will go down the Rec Sports path, but I can only try and prepare them to adapt to whatever life throws them. Whether it's having to move fields at the last minute, or working on a budget proposal at a finance company, I hope they lean on what they learned under my direction. 

Even a few of them call me "Mom" and I fuss but secretly I like that they see me as someone they can not only joke with but always be there for them too.

So to those that are reading this and took part in the tournament and clinic (and my mother for listening to me vent about it for months prior, during and after) a huge round of applause and A Big Thank You All too! I brag that it was all me, but we all know that without the contributions from people like you, it wouldn't have been 1/2 the experience that it was. I'm humbled that you all would come out to little UAlbany and do what we do best - talk sports. 

I was going to talk about my marathon training and how I'm too competitive to actually be a runner because I HATE getting passed by other people on the trail... But I'm going to save it for later because it's almost my bed time and this girl is still trying to catch up on sleep. 

To be continued!

Beer League

Oh hello there!

So school has officially started and IM's are underway. We've got soccer, volleyball, and softball to start us off this Fall semester. Trainings have happened, officials got their shiny new whistles, clubs have started playing, and all is good in the IM/Club Sports world at UAlbany.

I say that and I'm so anxious that I'm gonna jinx it. So if everyone could just knock on some wood for me while you're reading this, thanks, that'd be great. (I'm legitimately superstitious. It's from my father and many many years of playing softball/watching baseball. I have routines, I have my lucky socks that have holes and soon won't look like socks but I refuse to get rid of them and I will wear them whenever I feel I need some extra luck until the day I die.) 

And my new apartment is great, all my furniture (bought new or at least new to me) fits and decorations are up and it's officially home. I love living on a busy street and I often fall asleep to the neighbors chit chatting on the stoops below my windows and the sound of cars and the city lightly buzzing. It's not NYC, so it's not super loud and this city does in fact sleep. But it's my city and when a friend came to visit I wanted to drive them all over and just keep pointing out all the little spots that were cool, or fun to look at and just exclaim "Welcome to MY city!" with each and every turn. They weren't down with that so we went to lunch instead.

This is Albany, NY from the east side of the Hudson River. That really tall sky scraper in the mid-left of the photo is about 2 blocks east from my apartment. So I'm kind of right on top of it all.

I'm also trying to branch out and get to know some more people. I have a friend from yoga and we've done lunch and moved up to pizza and movies, and then we went on a paddle boarding course where she watched me fall off the board just once but everyone else in the class managed to stay out of the water. Like you're supposed to. Go figure. But it was a blast and if I could fit a paddle board in my apartment, I'd go out and buy one today.

But I signed up for a City Kickball League. It's with a group that does multiple different sports throughout the year in the Capital region of New York. I figured, heck, sports are my job, I can go and meet people that are like me, they like sports, and they like playing sports. 

We're not quite cool enough for an actual field. It's just cones on grass, no lines. But that's the gist of it.

Game #1- weather cast says 103847234893527% chance of rain. It's coming, folks, just a matter of when. But I'm just a Free Agent on team "Off Constantly" (bad names must be a requirement for any organized sports program that is recreational in nature) and I don't know a single soul. Nada. No one. I got nothing, just an address for the field and a team name. Oh boy.

So awkward Marissa goes out to the field in her rain jacket (because weatherman Joe said it'd be silly to leave it at home) and tries to socialize with some young professionals. I hope you can literally feel the anxiety and the rush of blood rise to your cheeks as you can tell it's going to get real good and awkward from here-

Just try asking complete strangers that look like "cool kids", drinking beers, in their team shirts and laughing and all of them know who each other are, etc. "Hey, hi there, do you happen to know where team 'Off Constantly' is?" And they all stare and give you the shrug, "Sorry, nope."

Ok. Yeah. That went well. I think they like me. Yeah. I can make friends. It's fine. I'm fine. I can do this. Shouldn't be so hard.

Try that two more times to FINALLY find the team "Off Constantly". And apparently I'm not the only free agent. It's like they put all the rag tag we-don't-have-any-friends people together on one team and that's us. Rag tag, worse than The Bad News Bears, The Little Giants, and definitely would get slaughtered by the kids from Sandlot.

Just give everyone a beer, age them about 15-20 years and that's my team. Not kidding, grumpy guy(he's the guy who didn't want to play in the rain) and all. 

So we go out, manage to scrap up a line up and an awkward, do you wanna pitch? No? Ok, I'll pitch..? exchange. We're 3 batters(? kickers? what are they?) in and boom the skies open up and it is pouring rain. I mean sheets of rain. I can't see the giant red kickball it's coming down. But it's warm and we play on. I slip (didn't want to seem like that really intense girl with cleats on the first night) a few times but we all are soaked and slipping and laughing. We ended up losing a lot to a little but,

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!

I could ring out my shirt and shorts with water but I'm running around trying to throw a kickball and slipping in the grass and laughing with complete strangers and trying to cheer them on and getting beer handed to me left and right.

There aren't real officials, you're not supposed to drink on the field but no one follows that rule, we played even though there was lightening in the distance (it was just once and then not again for all you IM/Risk Management freaks like me) and it's like the Anti-Intramural League but it was pretty great.

And I play again tomorrow! And this time I'll know who my team is! And I'm not telling them that I actually do this for a living because I definitely never got on base and probably never will. (I just can't get the ball out of the infield. Even when I kick it to third, the pitcher some how ends up catching it. It's impossible to kick it that hard for me...my strategy next time is to bunt even though I can hear my old softball coach groaning in my head)

I'm so excited and so glad I gave it a try. I play with accountants, science engineers, teachers and some I don't know what they do but I don't really care as long as we all like playing and having a good time. It's like I'm back in Davis, playing IM's only know the official on the field has a red solo cup in hand, they're all sporting facial hair and closer to 30 than they are to being 20 and they're missing calls that my 12 year old nephew can call from the stands.

So I guess it actually is just like IM Sports...LOL. 

To Be Continued!

My attempt at a Vlog...

So the file was too large to upload on here...but here's a link to my Encourage Kids Foundation for you to donate and help me get to my goal of $3000 to support terminally ill children and their families in the greater New York State area. Yeah! Do it! Make a difference! And have my ever lasting love in return!! :) 

https://www.crowdrise.com/encouragekidsnyc2016/fundraiser/marissaallen

And here's a link to the facebook page with said video. : ) Thanks and see y'all later!

https://www.facebook.com/marissa.allen.73/posts/1241109809254427?notif_t=like&notif_id=1471794852090293

-To be continued!

A little bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing

I officially just surpassed the 100 days til the marathon mark.

Holy cannoli, dear Mother of Pearl, when did that happen?

So you can say I'm a little nervous. And behind on my training. Oops.

I'm running. I'm just not running super long distances like I probably (most definitely) should be. I woke up on Saturday and said "LOL no" to the reminder on my phone saying I needed to run 12 miles and rolled over and snuggled my pillow. Team no regrets right here.

But I ran 3 on Sunday to make up for it. Kinda. More like ran 1.5 and limped the other 1.5.

But to be perfectly fair I have had a crazy summer...I went on two quick trips and had friends visit at the end of June/beginning of July. And moved. To an apartment with no AC. On the top floor. And it was 90 degrees and humiddddd for a solid month. (What the hell upstate New York? It wasn't as bad as Southern Illinois but this chic acclimated and it was rough during the nights. The day I can handle, I've got some hot Cali blood still and didn't mind it most days. But at night...let's just say that I fell asleep at my desk not once but a few times. Bosses really like that. You should try it.)  And then had to buy not one but two window units because sleep was becoming a far off distant dream it was so hot.

Try running on little to no sleep and when it's so humid you just walk to the corner and you look like you ran 4 miles already.

I'm such a fair weather runner it's stupid. Rain? Meh, tomorrow. 90+ degrees? Umm..tomorrow again?

I counted walking up and down my three flights of stairs hauling my crap from one apartment to the next as my cardio. #teamnotreadyforamarathonbutherewego

 Moving sucks.

It'll be alright though because the forcast says around 80 for the next 10 days and I have finally gotten more than 2 nights of consecutive good sleep in a row (it's the little things) AND I'm getting that creeping stressed out feeling and it's going to just get crazier and more hectic from here - which running helps keep at bay.

But this summer though, minus the looming disaster that this marathon could be, was really, quite amazing. I got to go back to California and visit my family for my dad's birthday. I went to Lake George and got some much needed lake and pool time (downside of living downtown Albany, no AC and no pools). My dear friends from Illinois came out and visited me in Albany. We had a blast and it was so great to be with them again. And then I met UC Davis friends in New Orleans for one of the best trips (minus horrendous flight issues) I have literally ever taken.

Best Friends 4 evah evah. But I hate airports and especially you, United Airlines.

And I've officially made it a year and 1 month here in Albany, New York.

Yep. 13 months. Whoa.

The real MVP.

I'd like to say it was rainbows and unicorns throughout but come on now. Not even close. I am doing well. And I do like it here. I've got some hobbies outside of work and I'm on a little routine that works. Met new friends in and out of work. Life is good.

And I'm dating...or trying dating ...I'm basically casually texting/not texting, meeting people for lunch/random hours for coffee/etc.

Boy, oh boy, what a time to be alive. Gag.
Dating is rough, dudes. Let me explain it for y'all...

But actually the outfit choosing part sucks the most.

Dating in 2016 consists of -

-dating apps
-scary profiles
-catfished or catfishing
-unlimited text messaging
-really obscure emojis and text speak (u, ttyl, lol...etc)
-playing 20 questions
-swiping left
-no last names
-not responding to lame pick up lines
-texting only, absolutely no calling
-still no calling
-texting and no meeting in person
-swiping right

Elaine knows what's really up.

-finally agreeing to meet
-telling all your girl friends that you're meeting in person and giving a window of time before they call the cops or call for that fake emergency to get you out (guilty)
-texting your bestie "SOS"
-said bestie calls you with real tears and a car that won't start and you have to save the day (even though she actually lives in another state)
-guys who bring you coffee at 7pm for a date in the park
-guys who bring their friend's puppies
-guys who take you to really bad restaurants
-wait staff who give you "Oh honey, first date?"polite smiles/grimaces
-several really just ok first dates
-ghosting
-extremely few second dates
-really bad second dates
-dodging kiss advances better than Nemo in The Matrix
-repeating your story over and over again you start to say it in your sleep
-changing up your story just cuz  (my dream job is to be a yoga teacher in the Tiebetan mountains)
-drinking lots of wine while you tell all your friends about your terrible experiences

Word, homie.

For all of my married/tied up friends out there...look at your spouse or SO right now and say "Well gosh, *insert name here*, we are so FREAKING lucky!"

And I will continue to date and fail at relationship-ing for y'all's enjoyment. You're FREAKING welcome.

No, no, don't worry.
I'll take the heat and you just sit there and feed each other grapes or do whatever, weird, gross couples do.
Because that's what friends are for.

It's not a walk in the park (unless that's what the date consists of...) but it is what it is.

So far, I'm batting 0 for 4. (probably more but I'm only going with ones I've actually met) I'm stuck in the minor leagues but I'm hopeful. Luckily though, I have yet to experience anyone who "forgot" their wallet (looking at you, Canadians) again. And I only had one friend text me and then call me (I didn't answer, just said 'See look that's her, got to go!') per my request. I did hit it off with a guy and we spent our first date playing games at Dave and Buster's and hanging out for 7 HOURS only to never hear from him again. Seriously, such a fun date but I guess he was more upset than he let on that I beat him in ski ball. Loser.
Another kept saying I was the prettiest girl he's ever been with. Flattering, yes. So thank you but I've only known you for 12 minutes, I'm not WITH anyone, let alone you, dude. And then said it's because he always wanted to date a blonde, have a trophy girlfriend. Ok. We're done. Check please? Upon further review, I'm fairly certain he said that to all of the girls he met. 20 yard penalty. Do not pass go. Next. I'm good. See ya, never.
I've also met some and had no sparks but was willing to give it a chance. And then the second date doesn't go so well. Ok conversation but just like, meh. Not something that I want to spend time pursuing.

0 for 4 with about 2 dozen strictly texting dates(what the heck do I even call those people who we talk and we get to know each other but then never meet??).

Yes, sometimes I think being heterosexual is my curse and my blessing. No, I'm not giving up on men just yet. 

But one thing I have learned through this process is that I'm getting really good at being alone. And alone doesn't equal lonely. I can go to a bar and wait for a date and not feel awkward while I wait. Or I can go to a concert or festival by myself and not worry about not having someone with me. I could walk into a restaurant and say party of one and I can sit there and eat. I'll probably sit at the bar but I think I'd be alright. I'm really ok with adventuring out on my own. And that's a skill that takes time and I've realized that not everyone can be on their own and not just crumble. It took me 13 months but I'm getting there.
I would just like to find someone who I can be alone with. If that makes sense. We can do things together but are completely more than ok with being apart too. And silence that isn't awkward because silence is really golden.

Cheers to more dates, texts, and wondering if someone is "spongeworthy". And to being comfortable alone. And to that ever looming marathon training. Gag.

To be continued!