On a more serious note

I wanted my next blog post to be on how I spent a splendid weekend in Memphis, Tennessee with my dear friend from UC Davis (you will get your blog post, Kate, promise) a while back but I'm going to blog about something else.

This past weekend I experienced a home invasion. Someone shattered my sliding glass door late one night while I was home, in my bed. I'll save the details, but the cops came and found me locked inside the bathroom with my baseball bat rand on the phone with the 911 dispatcher.

I have never been so scared in my entire life for my life.

I am currently writing from a coworkers apartment, whom has so graciously offered her place so that I can stay until I move into a new apartment at the end of the week. While she has been more than accommodating and I am so grateful to everyone who has offered me support, a place to stay, and their sympathies, I still can't find myself able to sleep until the later hours of the morning, when the sun is about to rise. Not out of fear but I've just been rattled to my very core and the dark and the night and being alone with just my thoughts are the worst times for me.

While it is not something I automatically offer to anyone and everyone, most people who need to know, do know about the incident. And I didn't want to make it public but some comments have been made and over heard that have upset me a great deal.

Nothing was stolen, they/she/he ran off once I started screaming and turning lights on. I was not physically harmed other than a bruise on my hip from slipping on the bathroom tile trying to get into the only locked area in that part of the apartment. I am very lucky, and I am very aware that it could have been a lot worse. I feel violated and so incredibly helpless. Replaying the incident over and over in my head, I think of all the things I could have done differently but I was in survivor mode and what happened, happened, and it worked out. The next morning was worse. I thought I could handle it. I couldn't. I can't. They may not have stolen any property but they did steal my peace of mind. I have to move. 

And herein lies my major issue with people who meddle and offer their two cents when it is not warranted. Whether you agree with this or not, that is not your decision to make. Yes, moving is a hassle. Yes, it was almost 100% certain that it was an isolated incident and even more likely it won't happen again at that exact place. Yes, it is expensive to find a new place to live and time consuming and yes, it would be easier to stay. And yes, in hindsight it was a bad decision to move to a first floor apartment, live alone, not have a back porch light, etc. etc.

But shame on all of you who have had these thoughts cross your mind. That is blaming the victim in every shape, way and form. No one prepares for things like this. And if they say they do, the plan is't fool proof. No one can possibly comprehend what I am feeling or coping with and I don't need anyone to. I am not asking for pity. 

Do not think that I am stronger than that one bad thing or that I am a lesser victim since nothing was taken nor was I harmed. Do not think that this would have never happened had I just had a roommate. Do not tell me that by moving, I let the intruder win, that I forfeit the problem and am running away. And do not tell me it is not that big of a deal.

It is a big fuqing deal. And damn straight I am running away. I'm running away to hopefully being able to feel comfortable living alone again. I am running away from bad memories and towards forgetting and completely forgoing the forgiving part. I did not ask for this. But I have to do whatever it takes to make it ok for Marissa, and not give a damn about what anyone thinks Marissa should do.

Until you have been brought to your knees, you cannot even fathom how you would react in a traumatic situation. That was my lowest moment. My home was invaded. My safe place had a cement block thrown through the glass door. My sanctuary and peace of mind, literally, shattered to pieces that night.

I am done defending myself and any and all of my actions and decisions.

I came back to the apartment to grab some more things today and found that the door was replaced but the cement block was still there. Just sitting on my back porch. Sitting there like it was laughing at me. I cried for the first time since the incident. The cops found me with dry eyes, and I never once shed a tear talking about it. But here I cried and cried and I grabbed that cement block and threw it over the back fence. 

I am stronger than this. This will not define me. It was unfortunate, and I do not wish anything like that upon even my worst enemy. But I have to deal with it in my own way and no one, not even I, really knows what that means. I now understand why in moments of complete helplessness, people do irrational things or choose to do or not to do something. And it may seem simple to any outsider looking in. Maybe most others would have stayed. Maybe not. But I now understand what it means to find out who your true friends are. And I now finally understand that I need to be selfish sometimes and only care about whatever is best for me. It may have taken a cement block to crash through my life but I get it now. And to all of you who did think or say those things before...bye.

To be continued.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Holla friends!

I find that this year has barely started and then I go, whoa, I'm in the 4th week of school...
Father Time, I'm going to need you to slow your roll...this is crazy!

Quick 20 second snap shot of what those 4 weeks have consisted of-

IM clinics
High school Volleyball Officiating
Falling asleep in class (my classmate woke me up before the professor noticed)
Needy Club Sports (see below)
Meetings, meetings, and more meetings
Reports
Paper work
Paper work
...did I mention paper work?
not passing my first test
getting A's on everything else
Not sleeping
looking at job ads
not looking at my resume
Drinking pots and pots of coffee everyday
not sleeping

Whew...

Yeah. That's pretty much been my life. So let me explain in a not 20 second version...

I'm running about 41 club sports and numerous IM Sports. My coworker has the IM side down almost perfectly so a lot of my time is devoted to sport clubs. To be fair not all 41 need a whole lot of help. There's about 15-20 that are especially needy...practice times to reserve, equipment to purchase, travel, insurance, etc, etc.
But that's my job. It just means that I max out the my spending limit super fast because I buy things every day and buy obscure things like paint ball guns, archery quivers, rugby balls, soccer jerseys, equestrian award ribbons, quidditch brooms, etc, etc.
It all adds up super fast. And the next thing I know, I've maxed out for the month and it's only 11 days into the month.
Oops...

Other than that, we're changing a lot but it's somewhat working out. I think we're doing an ok job. I love it, I'm getting to know most of the clubs really well and trying to spread myself out 41+ different directions. But it's all good.

I'm also officiating high school volleyball occasionally to get some more money. It's fun and I miss playing a lot. It's kinda cool to be up on the stand watching the girls and thinking "Man, that was me...8 years ago...god I'm old!"
But then I get a check and I'm like sweet deal! I'll take a few outbursts from coaches screaming at me for that money.

Meetings, and paper work...that's a given. I'm a graduate student with a (part) time job (parenthesis because it feels like a full one) and that just comes with the territory.

I'm starting to look at big girl jobs more and more now. Yikes. That sure is frightening. Not a whole lot of positions open right now, but it's never too early to start thinking about it, right?

My professional staff thinks so too and they're really great about giving us more chances to prepare. Like impromptu interview questions that throw you for a loop in front of everyone at the GA meeting and you start to babble and ramble like you're back in high school and you say 'um' over 17 times in just one answer...

Well..that sucked.

Ugh. That was a bad day. But it's all in the name of helping me prepare. Right? (Just nod your head and say yes.) We also sit down and do mock interviews with the staff and you bring in your application for a job that you would actually apply for and they go through the whole process AND video tape you so you can watch it afterwards to take note.

I had a mock last year. Let's just say it's probably the scariest movie I've ever seen. It's worse than Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Silence of the Lambs.

Me, watching myself on tape. Horrendous.

But all the constructive criticism is good. (again, just nod your head and say yes) It is helpful, honest, it brings you down to earth and reminds you just how unprepared you are for the real world. I'm currently working on not laughing/giggling when I'm nervous or scared, saying 'um' and 'like' every other word. (the Cali girl in me comes out REAL thick when I'm nervous...I almost flipped my hair but restrained from pulling a complete Clueless moment.)

It's just uber painful to go through it and try to better yourself. It did kind of put me in a panic though after I bombed just the one interview question. I immediately ran to my boss the next day and fretted to him.

"I'm not ready! I'm a terrible GA! I can't make it as a real boss! I'm just a like silly student supervisor on steroids, and I'm going to fail! Why aren't you helping me!?"
He kinda leans back in his chair, folds his hands...
"What's today's date?"
"September 15th, but what does that have to do with anything I just said!?"
"Right, September. Exactly. M., you've got 8 more months with me. You're barely a second year GA, you probably are more of a first year than a second year right now. We have time. Calm down. I got you."

Maybe the best thing for me to hear at that point.

He probably wanted to do this but I'm glad he didn't.

Sorry but it's scary for me. Just 12 months ago I was blogging about how I was worried about my staff liking and respecting me and how I would like living in Carbondale. And now I'm fussing over my next big step. The actual real world.

Why does life through so many big life changes at you when you're so so young? WHY
First big one is going to high school. Hindsight, it was the easiest of them all but man, those halls were terrifying the first day.
Next college apps, and SAT's, and then bam! you're out of high school and it's the big move to a new place, a new home and you're only 17/18 years old?? Who thought that was a good idea??? You go through scared as hell but having the time of your life at the same time and about 4 years later society goes "Hey, congrats! You're done! Now settle down and find a real career and become a contributing adult with bills and obligations and responsibilities! What you always dreamed of!" Umm...no thanks.
And then, if you're like me you go on to grad school to just post pone that last part of life, and it's like college all over again, apps, and loans and scholarships and interviews and BAM (again!) you end up moving 2,000 miles away from home. AND THEN....it's finding new friends, figuring out school, you're scared as hell only you have to put on a good face because they put you in a work setting and you're just internally screaming "I've only lived for less than 25 years! 25!!! That's like a blip on the Earth's timeline! Who thought that that's enough time to be ready for ANY of this!!" And they say that 2 years is plenty of time and that you need to start being more professional and market yourself and sell yourself for potential employers and be better at everything and you're still just smiling but  screaming internally "I'm not ready! Is anyone listening?? I'M NOT READY!!"

No explanation needed.

whew. sorry. rant over. But that's a lot of big BIG changes and detrimental life choices to be making and you're barely old enough to drink legally.

That's wack.

But ce la vie, life goes on, and as much as I try (and I really do try) to slow down time it keeps on trucking along and I have to do everything in my power just to keep up.

Sometimes it takes a blog update and a phone call to my daddy to make me a little less crazy but it's all good.

Now I'm going to go check on my beloved sport clubs that have tournaments this weekend and then maybe I'll think about updating my resume. Or maybe I'll save that for tomorrow. It is only September.

To be continued.

My First Day of 18th Grade!

Hello grad school year number 2!

And don't you look great!

Yep. My last year of graduate school. In approximately 9 months I will have 3 letters behind my name…

give me an M..

give me a B…

and give me an A…

what's that spell??

Master's of Business and Administration baby! Those 3 letters will mean that someone thought I was smart enough to work in the real world and that I had spent 2 years getting by in finance, accounting, organizational behavior, marketing and promotion classes with crazy professors and even crazier students. They'll also mean that I spent 2 years getting those letters Free of Charge because the school hired me as a graduate assistant and worked my ever-living butt off in exchange for an education.

You can bet I'm walking across the stage on graduation day like this. Because my MBA makes me oh so fancy.

Sounds like a pretty legit deal for me. And it is. 

I'm so excited for this year and the first day, first week, first month is chaotic and kinda crazy but I'm so glad to be back at it. 

Don't believe me? Ask my student staff. 

The day before classes started we had Supervisor Training. Last year I was nervous, had never met them and was worried over what they thought of me and it was like the first day of high school all over again.

This time around…I wanted to hug them all when they came into our office. Saying hi's and hello's how was summer's and I was too happy to have my students back. Grinning ear to ear, I didn't even mind that I was planning on staying in the office for around 9 hours on a Sunday. My goons are back and that's all that matters.

They're BACK! YAY YAY YAY!!!!

Training went well, I hope, we talked a lot and only saw a few of the goons nodding off but then being brought back to attention when I coughed violently a few times (pay attention class!) After the training we had another meeting with our sport clubs. We hold a draft for practice times and field space. They pick numbers out of a hat and we hold it like a the NFL draft, no trades for position but you choose when and where you would like to practice and if someone picks your spot, you can put up offers for trading. It kinda feels like a stock exchange room when it's happening, men's lacrosse negotiating with women's rugby to use this field on monday in return to share a space on thursday, etc. etc. 

After the clubs left kinda happy we then turned to finishing up our registration for our IM Sports. The new GA, JT, is really good at this part. He gets the system we have online and he rocks at it. Having him around is pretty sweet, he catches on fast, has pretty, actually really good ideas and is fairly funny which makes for a fun work environment.

But then the real fun began…Hello Welcome Week! Cue the club sign ups, the tabling, the marketing, the "Where the heck is ___ Hall?" and "How do I get to ___" questions from a bajillion new, young, naive and scared freshman. It's ok guys, you're going to be fine, but here take a brochure and what the Student Rec Center can offer you!

From BBQ's, Greek Life, Sport Clubs, Meet and Greets oh and did I mention regular class, all of that wrapped up in one whirl wind of a week. Whew. Just rethinking about it makes me kind of dizzy. And it felt like everyone and their mother's wanted me at this event, or that social gathering pushing IM's and Sport Clubs and then class and my email has literally 3,000 emails everyday and my clubs are so needy…ok they do have some validity in getting some equipment and other gear but it's just crazy…

Somedays I kinda wanted to yell this at anyone and everyone who came within 3 feet of my desk.

But the new GA's and us veterans survived. Week 2 was a little less chaotic, ok not really, but I'm starting to get used to it again. Like riding a bike, just jump back on and you're a little wobbly at first but then it's smooth sailing.

Yeah sure. Ok…

Class is ok. It's more or less the same old same old…smaller classes with some familiar faces this time but still the same overly pretentious and chatty professors who make you sit up front so no chance of not paying attention..little does he know that no one can pay full attention for over 3 hours of lecture. It's mind numbing but eh, we'll survive. We also have a bunch of group work already (GAG) but this was expected…although it's still not welcomed.

The professors' reaction when we plead for individual projects. I swear they get the biggest kick out of watching groups crash and burn.

And then Labor Day weekend came and went way too fast and here it is week 3 and already september.…geez that went by fast. Only 4 more months in 2014…holy smokes! That's too much for me to wrap my head around at the moment so I'm going to go to bed and attempt to act like I know what I'm doing. Fake it til you make it, still my motto!

To be continued!

Roommates, Lifeguards, Sun burns and Summer Concerts

That's what my summer was made of.

I know I know I know I've been seriously slacking on the whole blog department.

Summer is officially over for me, as I am now reinstated as a Graduate Assistant for the SIU Rec Center and we have training, prepping and all around madness is about to start again. Get ready for those blogs because I'm sure they will be full of new and fun and super chaotic adventures.

But I'm spending my last hour of freedom at a coffee shop sipping my coffee with a splash of cream and 2 sugars reflecting and slowly waking before the madness that is my job/school/life starts up again.

So…let me tell the story of my summer in the Dale that has been my home for the last 12 months.

The title sorta says it all. I worked as a life guard, both at an indoor pool and at a lake for a camp of elementary students. It was a Jewish camp that lasted for a month and EVERYDAY the kiddos came out to swim. I got to know a lot of them by name and learned some hebrew (mostly bad words though) and on some days they even fed us life guards lunch. I got a pretty sweet tan line and made some great friends with the other guards. A typical day would be set up and clean the beach area, clean off the dock of any duck poop, have the kiddos check in, make sure they were dowsed in sunscreen and then we'd take our positions for about 2 hours around the beach and lake shore and watch the crazy kids jump off the dock, play sharks and minnows and just be hooligans. Eavesdropping on their conversations about how Jessica likes Benny but Benny already told Joshua that he wants to be on Sarah's team after snack time was probably my favorite thing ever. Kids really do say the darndest things.
One of the boys, Benny, loved to show me how he could "dive" off the dock. He wasn't a very good diver in the slightest but he did get better over time. He also was a charmer. Girls would always splash him and tease him, typical of 4th grade flirting antics. One day as he was showing me his umpteenth millionth dive, a girl splashed us and said "HEY! Benny!! I gotta tell you a secret!"
"Ok"
"No…*looks at me* you need to come over here"
"Um why?"
"Just Cuz!"
"*Groan* Fine"
Jumps in and swims 4 ft away.
Yells/whispers"Jessica likes you!! Go talk to her"
"Cool. No thanks. I'll see her at crafts"
"No Benny! Go now!"
"Sorry, I don't deliver." and swims back to the dock.

I almost fell into the lake. I was dying of laughter. He doesn't deliver?! Genius. He climbs out and just smiled, shook his head and said "Females…" and rolled his eyes and gave me a cannon ball to show off.

The kid is pretty suave for a 4th grader and that line…oh man. Highlight of my summer right there. He must have an older brother who has just as much swag and charm and knows how to play the game if you know what I'm saying. Whew…just typing it out I'm starting to giggle all over again.

The kids were pretty cool all around though and what a life to spend an entire month out in the woods in cabins and swim everyday at a beautiful lake and not have a worry in the world minus mosquito bites and whether or not Benny likes Jessica back.

To be 10 years old again…but being a life guard was probably the coolest summer job to have. I'm seriously bummed that I'm not going to continue. Maybe next summer.

The other aspect of my summer was that I got a roommate.

Yes, the girl who swore up and down that living alone was the only way to go and that roommates had always led to problems and who needs companions anyway, got a roommate. To be fair, he was my friend who was helping me workout. He was in kind of a tight spot, out of one apartment, not allowed in another til the end of summer and kinda homeless. The place he was just using while a buddy was back home didn't work out, so one day at the gym he kinda casually said that he hadn't a place to go. "Calvin! Are you kidding me?! You don't have a place to live?!? Why didn't you ask? You can stay with me!"

And well yeah, careful what you say because he moved in about a day later.

It wasn't that bad either. He was pretty easy to live with, took out the trash while I did the dishes, the shared spaces were clean for the most part and he played handy-man and fixed some things around the apartment. I now consider him a very dear friend because it's hard not to bond with someone when it's summer in the Dale and most days you're just chilling talking about everything and nothing at the same time. We would meet up with friends and go to Trivia night, play sand volleyball, and go to the Sunset Concerts that were put on in the park every Thursday night. Kinda nice to watch horribly awful movies with (don't waste your time with 'Noah'. Awful.) or the baseball game while drinking some hard mike's lemonade. (he loves them but don't tell any of his friends because they're girly drinks.) My summer would have been a whole lot more boring without him. I probably will miss that but I know I won't miss him fogging up the bathroom mirror from his ridiculous long showers (he's a dude for pete's sake) and how he used my shampoo (he said he liked how it made his head tingly…good lord) or how he used every dish in the entire apartment for one meal (why do you need 8 plates to cook chicken? How is that possible???) or his absurd amount of protein shakes he drank on the daily or having nothing in the fridge but beer, eggs, and cottage cheese (he ate an absurd amount of cottage cheese. Like 5lb tubs of it. I wish I was joking).

Another highlight was my mom and sister coming to visit. It was a short stay but it was super fun. Now my entire family has seen where I live and work and my mom either must love me a lot or she secretly likes this place because she's visited 3 times now.

We spent our time going to the sunset concert, catching up, cooking, going out to my new favorite restaurant, Global Gourmet, and we went to the St. Louis Zoo and the Arch. But before all that when they came in I picked them up and brought them back to my apartment to just hang out for a bit. They met Calvin and I had kinda warned him that my mom would probably ask a bajillion questions but that my sister would say "Hi" and then not another word. She's shy and only really talkative around her those she's close with. But oh no…she walked in, said Hi to Calvin and then she did not shut up the entire time. She kept talking and telling stories about her friends and her summer working with kids and their 4-H animals for fair, etc, etc. Us Allen girls do love to talk and when you get us together…let me just say that I apologize in advanced if you ever should see it. We're loud. We laugh. We're really really loud. And we laugh really loudly too. And we're kind of a lot to take in and handle. I'm pretty sure Calvin didn't say 2 sentences the entire time and that we scared him away for sure. We're 10000x worse than any Ya-Ya girls. It's quite the scene.

Verbatim how my dad reacts to the women all back together. And Calvin's response to me and SeaStar's conversation as well.

But I had a blast hanging with my SeaStar and mom and it was good to see them once more since I won't head back to Cali til Christmas most likely. They met my friends and they got to see Carbondale in the summer time. A little more relaxed and a little bit slower living but still a good time.

I also went to Chicago one last time to visit a friend and we had her "congrats on getting a big girl job/end of summer/graduation" party and they took me to the Polish Festival and I learned that Polish people love to drink A LOT and that I was ill prepped for such a weekend full of booze but I loved spending time with her and her family and hope to visit them again really soon. I mean, when they had set up shots of Crown Royal just waiting for me once I arrived, it's kinda hard not to like them. They're sassy and sarcastic-y just like me and their go to fix is alcohol too. So it's like I found my long lost relatives!

It'd be Crown Royal but this basically how the family reacts... "How many bottles do we have? Just 10? We're going to need more than that."

And that's pretty much it. That was my summer. Now on to committees for conferences, IM sports and Sport Club training, the new 1st year GA moving and getting acclimated (I'm a second year….what???) and class, books, pretentious teachers and having my last first day of school ever. It's going to be a great year though, ups and downs to be had but I don't think I've ever been so excited to get my life going. And if it was anything like my summer, it'll be full of surprises, but it'll be pretty dang good.

Times up! Time to buckle down and start my last year. Adventure awaits!

Goodbye Summer

To be continued!

LA Wedding: Final Installment

So July is almost over…whoa…again apologies, this blog post about the wedding has taken wayyyy longer than originally planned. It's amazing how my day really only consists of life guarding and some remedial errands and I'm just wiped out. I love sleep and I've been a total grandma, reading after dinner, bed by 10, up at 6:30/7. Who am I?

So…I left off at the rehearsal dinner. Next day- Wedding Day!

We did breakfast around the corner from the hotel and checked out Old Pasadena. My Nana wanted to see the Proctor House, like that Proctor and Gamble, Proctor, because it was super old, but really interesting architecture and blah blah blah. No, it was cool to check out I'm just still kinda confused why it was such a big deal, it's a big old house, why do I have to pay $12 for a tour? 

Anyway, after that adventure the Nana, my mom and I went to meet the bride at the hair salon so that she could get her hair done. We got lost (thanks, Siri. Not.) and ended up walking about 5 blocks to find the place but eh, it wasn't that hot and we only almost got hit by a car or 2 like once. 

You could tell that she was excited but pretty calm for the most part. She had flowers in her hair, that matched her bouquet and she looked simply beautiful. Very subtle and not extravagant but stunning and very her. 

And then it was a mad dash to get ourselves ready. My sister and I probably changed out outfits a bajillion times leading up to this event but who's counting…I was worried about getting cold once evening came along and got a cardigan. To that, my Nana said to my sister "Just make sure she has enough to drink and dances a lot, she won't get cold."
Cool. I'm the drunk granddaughter/niece/cousin at this event. I'll take that crown and wear it, thank you. And it's called being fun. Duh.

Jokes aside, I kinda was. Most of the guests are older and there was only one other family that had kids, and then our new family of cousins by marriage so…cue awkward meet and greets where you just don't have a whole lot to say or really relate to. And my other favorite part of being awkward? Being tipsy AND awkward. So bring on the wine!

The wedding was held at the couple's house, a beautiful domed building on top of hill over looking the college's soccer field and part of the valley that makes up Pasadena.

The ceremony was perfect. And I'm not going to do it any justice talking about it. The bride and groom exchanged vows they had written themselves, both quoting songs but before you get judgy wudgy and say that's so cliche let me explain…she quoted a rock song from Metallica, Nothing Else Matters. Yeah. My aunt is totally rad.

But actually when she read her vows it fit and was actually pretty sounding and it kind of hit everyone that this is happening. Tammy and Angus are getting married. Right now. Like. What? If you weren't there and didn't see her walk up the aisle and see his face of pure joy but how he was sweating because it's SoCal and well, you know, he's getting married, and saw the two mothers sitting there next to the alter looking beautiful and so proud and happy, I don't think anyone would have believed it.

It was a short but very sweet ceremony and there was not a dry eye in that place even if we were standing in the grassy garden of the front yard and Polly, the dog, was whining because she didn't quite understand why she had to stand away from her mom and dad and not jump around all these fun new people to play with.

After the ceremony, the tears aside, the happy still flowing, and the fun began. Food and drinks were a plenty. (no joke though, I think there were 12 different types of hors d'oeuvres and that wasn't even the dinner that was provided) And there was a dance floor and adorable decorations of T&A everywhere. Our cousins kept the party alive by dancing, even getting my Nana to dance which was adorable.
Me and the SeaStar went out and got down a time or two. Our cousins were the real stars though and pulled out the grocery shopping cart, the lawn mower, sprinkler and my personal favorite, walking the dog. A new one was introduced, the taking a shower where you turn on the water, adjust it for temp, lather up, rinse off and towel dry. Hilarious. But it was a lot of fun and the awkwardness had gone away completely.

After filling ourselves with shrimp and fruit and little finger foods that were enough to feed an army, a food truck pulled up. Yes, like a roach coach, taco truck. But this was no ordinary taco truck. It was Korean BBQ and had the best quesadillas and tacos EVER. Hands down. Spicy and delicious and so cool to just walk right up to the taco truck next to the dance floor at the wedding and order a burrito or taco from a taco truck. Attention Future Hubby: We are having a taco truck at our wedding. It's gonna happen and you don't get a say in the matter, sorry I'm not sorry!

And you know how every family has that one family member, the crazy cousin/aunt/uncle that is a nomad and has lived a crazy nomad life mostly moving around the country on his motorcycle and only popping up randomly for like a week at a time and would have all these crazy stories about his adventures and the people he met along the way? Well low and behold, even our family has one, good ol' Uncle Bob, and my aunt had sent him an invite via email since she didn't know where he was living or if he even had a permanent residence. And he showed up to the wedding! So it was a great family reunion and we heard about how he is currently in Southern California for now but still has the bike and rides to Arizona every now and then and the man is in his 70's. Like the dude lives an epic life. And the last time I saw him I think I was 13 or 14. So definitely good to see him.

We spent the rest of the night dancing and eating more and more little finger foods that kept coming out even though we had dinner already. Seriously never ending food! But that's how Angus likes it. We ate, we danced, we drank and we were very merry. And it was beautiful and a perfect evening.

And now I'm officially done with my story about my aunt's wedding, it only took me way too long and sorry about that but here are pictures of the day! Enjoy!

Getting fancy!

Obligatory photo of the decorations

SeaStar from the Dome terrace.

Pops 

My nana waiting patiently

The mothers and the happy couple.

Ta-da! They're officially MARRIED!

Good looks run in the family.

The infamous 'Dome'

Food Truck! I already told the driver that in about 5-10years I'm going to have him at my wedding and to pencil it in for sometime in September.

Quick! Take a photo before he leaves again! The Nana and our nomad Uncle Bob!

T loves A :)

Obligatory photo of decorations at night.

LA valley

Get your groove on.

:)

Love you, mean it.

To be continued!

LA Wedding Weekend Part Two!

Sorry I kept you on the edge of your seat! I bet you've been waiting for the rest of the wedding story so I'll try to get in as much as I can in this blog post.

I left off at the end of a delicious dinner in LA with the new fam-bam.

Next day was rehearsal dinner but we had all day to just hang out. So what did we do? Go shopping naturally.

It may be an addiction but it's so much fun.

So we went out and had plenty of choices of malls and locations to choose from, it's LA, you can literally get anything you want, they are endless. 

LA is a pretty fun city. Sure, the traffic is bad, you're taking 4 different freeways to maybe go 10miles or sometimes more for less, but it's alive and thriving. So many people and so many sights to see and experience. Another city on my list of places I'd be ok with trying to live in. And as my aunt and uncle live there, it wouldn't be so lonely. (hint hint, I'll be looking for a job next year, you guys!)

After a day of shopping we end up taking the 210, to hwy 34 to I-5 and then the 158 to our hotel (I'm joking, but it does sound like that when locals talk directions) to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.

My sister and I like to plan these events by outfit. So we have a thursday outfit, a brunch outfit, ceremony, casual dinner, fancy dinner etc. etc. But we like to have options too. So what seems like a normal amount of clothes for a weekend wedding that lasts oh about 3 and 1/2 days. Apparently 8 dresses was ok. And then I bought another. This is why it takes us girls over 2 hours to get ready for anything. Because we change our minds a bajillion times and with each change of clothes, our makeup changes and our hair dos and that necklace looks so good with the maxi dress but it clashes with that sun dress…

And it's not like we don't have enough. I had 8 dresses for pete's sake and I still felt the need to get another one. Might as well sign me up for shopaholics anonymous. Care to be my sponsor??

Not the most rational excuse but hey, I'll take it.

We head off to the rehearsal dinner with the fam in tow. It was held on Occidental's campus, and it was a chance for the New Yorkers to meet and mingle with the Californians. 

This group of New Yorkers though…lets just say that while I embody the stereotypical bleach blonde California girl, these folks are every bit of exactly what I think of when I hear 'I'm from New York'.

Nasally accents, loud, boisterous, avid sports fans but only loyal to all that is New York even if it's hockey and they've never watched a single regular season game all year, by gosh, they're the biggest New York Ranger/Yankee/Giants/Nets whatever fans you ever did see and the mood levels go up and down faster than any bipolar person's as the game goes on. Also, herein lies why I mentioned the Jewish deal before. All of them, Jewish. Maybe not all but a lot. And they are cracking jokes about it, and it just adds to the whole scene of Jewish New Yorkers coming to visit their new California Blonde friends and family.

Love is blind and the heart wants what the heart wants. It may have taken Angus to travel 3000 miles away from the biggest city in the country to find love but hey, makes for a cute story line.

But man oh man was it a good time. Meeting Angus's family and friends was great. Most of the people who came out for the big event had been his life long friends. I mean life long. Stories of how they met in 2nd grade and stayed close throughout the years. I don't think I talk to anyone from second grade class or even remember anyone. And the stories they told about how they grew up in the Big Apple, how they came to know Manhattan and Brooklyn better than the back of their hand and all the places they would go and the trouble they would get in. Some seriously awesome stories.

This is how I picture the NewYorkahs (say it in your best New York accent) in their youth- running around the streets of Brooklyn doing hoodrat things with their friends.

The dinner was catered by some BBQ place that was a favorite of the couples. Never without good food. Never. But as I know live only about an hour away from the BBQ capital of the world (St. Louis, MO) and I have had my fair share of BBQ since living out here, it wasn't exactly the best. Good, but when you've had the real midwest deal, California's BBQ doesn't cut it. But they did have some really bomb sangria that I may or may not have had more than my allotted 2 glasses and I'm safe from being the drunk niece at the wedding. Sue me. 

After seeing some old friends, making new and eating, drinking and being merry, one of the New Yorkers made a toast.

While the couple didn't have a wedding party, this is what will go down in history as the best best man speech I have ever heard. 

This was one of the original Lunch Bunch crew, and he kinda told a super hilarious but very touching story about their friendship. How they went to school together for such a long time, went off and got married one by one, and how they all had been apart of each other's weddings. How they screwed up some photos, got a little too drunk at the reception, got stage fright during a speech, etc. I never laughed so hard until I heard about how Angus passed out during the wedding photo session and almost fell into the Hudson River because he had gotten wayyyy too drunk at the rehearsal dinner the night before. Priceless. But the main theme was about how they had been there for each other through good times, moves, break ups, career changes and everything and just how happy they were to see him and his wife to be so incredibly happy.

I really hope someone video taped that speech because it really was entertaining but so full of love too, there probably wasn't a dry eye in the place, either from crying laughing or crying from how sweet his words were.  

The rest of the night was spent finishing dessert a few more glasses of sangria and taking countless photos with the bride and groom.

The night was great and there was a whole lot of love. And it made me think about how we define 'happiness'. So here's my version of a bride's maid speech.

My aunt Tammy is my mother's baby sister, and I was born right around the time she graduated college. But even though she is my aunt I have always looked up to her like an older sister. I remember how she and my Nana and Poppy would always come for Christmas and sometimes birthdays and other holidays and how we always had the best time making ginger bread houses, doing our nails, just silly little things. She's a huge supporter of mine and was there for me at my own graduation even though I was going to see her 2 days after it, she still came and it meant a lot to me.

One particularly fond memory I had with her was while on a walk. I was barely in high school, but we got into a conversation about college and choosing who I want to be when I grow up. She talked about how she chose her major and really loved it in school but didn't want to be in that field forever and ever. How she was still figuring it out, going to get her Master's at the time and just had some vague plans but that the most important thing was to just keep trying new and different things to just experience it all and have more choices. She told me that it was never ok to settle, to take my time in deciding and that my happiest years would be in college. 

It wasn't until I went off to college that I realized how important that walk was. Even though Tammy went into the recreational field, I didn't exactly follow her footsteps. Or mean to anyway. It just kinda happened. I got on at UC Davis, she kinda just mentioned the acronym NIRSA and about 2 years later I became a GA. She pursued sport clubs, and whether I like it or not, Sport Clubs have more or less been my specialty in addition to a little bit of the IM side. She's named dropped and I have reached out to those people and most of the time as soon as I say I'm Tammy's niece they get very nostalgic and excited to hear how she's doing and that I look and act a lot like her.

I think that might be my favorite compliment. "You are just like your aunt!" was once said to me at a conference when I finally got a chance to sit down and talk to one of Tammy's old bosses who now works at SIU. (if you thought the world was small, the rec world is even smaller) And I couldn't help but feel really proud. And why not? She's beautiful, a successful woman who has her doctorate and loves her job, a cute puppy named Polly and now is happily married living in LA. She's the cool aunt who has a season pass to Disneyland and loves to take all her family and friends to the happiest place on earth even though she's probably been there 1000 times. 

And I know she's really happy now. I was fortunate enough to go on a trip with her to Paris, with her, Amos, my Nana and her friend, Jack. It was a little weird, I kinda felt like the child of two divorced parents, going with my Nana and Jack in the morning for breakfast and then to the historical sites and museums and then getting passed onto Tammy and Angus in the afternoon with more spontaneous less structured adventures that usually involved finding this really good place for falafels or cafe, checking out the music festivals, etc. 

That trip was the best time with just us. Family vacations are fun but we had so much time together I really got to see Tammy and Angus for who they are as a couple. They argued over directions, they argued over what to do that day and where to go. But he adores her. And she him. It was evident in how they act together and even apart. He would do the things she wanted to do, like go shopping and walk into really expensive jewelry shops and try on tiaras and rings and necklaces but walk out without buying so much as a single stud earring (that one was hard as I couldn't breathe for fear of ruining the 5,000 euro watch I was looking at and Tammy was trying on rings worth 3x that. gasp) *these were the rings that inspired her wedding rings. ya i helped with that ok no not really but I'm claiming it.* and she would do the things he wanted like check out the less touristy areas, and find the best falafel in all of paris or let him go out at 2am to find a pub that was playing the NBA playoff game. (he really did)

And you could just tell that she, both of them, were happy. Really happy and in love. Not the cutesy let's kiss by the eiffel tower (even though they did but it was tasteful) in love but happy with one another just being together or even apart. So hearing that they were getting married was very exciting and I was happy because of their happiness. 

Yes, it seems like my aunt has it all. The looks, the job, the dog, the guy, gets to travel, disneyland season pass holder, etc. But this was a long, long, long time coming. It wasn't an easy road, and she had a lot of trials and tribulations along the way. But I knew in Paris that she was the happiest I had ever seen her. Until I saw her at her wedding weekend that is.

Thanks to her, I know right now is ok, but it's not the happiest I will be. It may take a lot of time. I can't settle though and to trust that better is coming. But I'm ok with that because they were ok with waiting. It was worth it for them. And if I end up only a little bit like my aunt, well, I'll consider that a huge success in my book. 

Next blog post will be about the actual ceremony. To be continued!

Terrible photo but it's of all of us in Paris. And my favorite.

It's A Nice Day For A….

White Wedding!

Hello and ciao and bon jour and all that jazz!

So if you aren't following me on any social media than you don't know that I went to back to California this past weekend for my favorite Aunt's wedding!

But I did! And it was so much fun! And I'm obviously going to blog about it! Yay!

So here it goes. Enjoy!

Last Thursday I got up super early after a restless night (because I was too excited to sleep! and was still packing) and went to see Kaylee at the rec to say good bye and to get a quick last work out in. I know I'm becoming a gym junkie, one of those guys, I basically live there between work and working out. But after a day of shoulders and bi's and skipping the elliptical, I ran home, jumped in the shower and headed off to the airport.

The flight was fine, I hate the process of traveling but I was so excited to go back to Cali. And SoCal at that, as my aunt and her new husband work at Occidental College near Pasadena, part of the greater Los Angeles area.

My dad, mom, SeaStar and the Nana were also going (the baby bro was going to football camp so he wasn't around) and would meet me at the hotel. We would meet up and then go to dinner with the two families. How cute.

At LAX airport I had a personal driver since time was limited and LA traffic is gross and then add airport shuttles it's just nauseating. It was so cool, I walked out of the baggage claim area and found my little driver named Steve in a suit holding a sign that said "M. Allen".

Oooh that's me! I'm so LA! Just like the celebs! No pictures please!

But that glamour went away real quick when I sat in that town car for over an hour stuck in LA traffic. Gross. And to top it off, I get to the hotel say hi to the fam and then right as I lay down on the hotel bed we get a call from my aunt "So the dinner reservations are for 6:30 not 7 like we said before."
Dude, it's 5:59! So I didn't even have time to shower, just jump into a dress, than a different dress, back into the original dress (sorry I'm a girl and indecisive. sue me.) put some make up on, and too much perfume and we were on our way.

The thing with LA and I'm pretty sure most cities is that you could be at 5 star restaurant and next door is a dive bar that no one would ever eat the peanuts at the bar at it's that gross. But you can't judge a book by it's cover or this case the bars on the windows or the chipped paint on the doors.

So we end up at this restaurant called 'The Black Hogg' and it's not the fanciest on the outside. But we meet the groom's side of the family, his mother, his sister and two nephews. They're from New York originally but now the sis lives in SF with her 1 son while the mom and other son live back in New York.

The Black Hogg from the much prettier inside.

Just because it kinda helps with the rest of this tale, let me preface that my new uncle, we're going to call him Angus, and his family are Jewish. But not at all orthodox, we're eating at a place called 'The Back Hogg' and he loves bacon so there's that. It makes sense later but I digress.

So we meet, give kisses and hugs, everyone is so happy, ok let's eat. We go inside and it's uber hipster. Super modern and super hipster. Fine china and glass ware and all. Totally caught me off guard as the interior totally juxtaposes with the shotty paint job and bars on the window on the establishment next door. But I'm ok with it. Angus is sort of a foodie, ok a big foodie, and he says that he's pretty much ordered a bunch of courses for us already. Alrighty than, guess we'll just be surprised.

And boy, were we ever. We had gourmet dishes coming dish after dish. Fried bacon with delish sauce, pork belly tacos that are legit mexican tacos and not the crap they call 'mexican' out here in illinois, roast bone marrow (yes that bone marrow) and corn salsa, and lamb and kale salad, and spicy green beans, and prosciutto and melon and jerk chicken and coconut rice and bacon brussle sprouts and pancotta and oh my lanta. It was so tasty. But such different cuisine  that we never would have tried ever because all those dishes had some sort of veggie or sauce or something that made it oh so much more than just a slab of meat.

If you go to LA, go to that place. Pricey but you get what you pay for. So. Damn. Good.

It's so good I'd go and eat there alone. Who am I kidding, I'd eat anywhere by myself. #noshame

And the company was great too. We chatted with the new fam and spent an absolute perfect evening chatting over good food. Everything revolves around food, especially in my now bigger family. Bad food, bad conversation, bad times. Good food, good people, good conversation, good time. It's not a coincidence people.
My new cousins(?) are pretty cool. The one who lives in New York works in a restaurant and the food thing obviously runs in the family. Angus loves to find awesome new foods and is a total foodie, his mom is an amazing chef and cooks at a restaurant too. So it's in the genes. But he's my age, we just graduated college a year ago and we're just kinda in that weird stage of well now what but kinda have it together sorta kinda meh it's a work in progress. And the little brother is in high school and a sports fanatic, loves to play football and is a huge Giants fan (gah love him like a brother already!) and is super sassy. So full of that 16 year old the world revolves around me I'm so cool and my mom totally embarrasses me and all I want to do is watch sports and I'm so over this scene and when is this over sass it's just great.

This is him in a nutshell. I love it. I want to be his best friend just so we can be sassy together.

With full stomachs and even fuller hearts we left the Black Hogg. Gag. did I really just write that? Yeah well we did, cliched and all but I was so ready to sleep. But me and the SeaStar were sharing a bed so ensue giggling like little girls with a few punches and kicks thrown in there and shut up's and go to bed and it's hot's move over's until Nana got mad and said 'Good Night GIRLS' in a tone that meant be quiet and be quiet now or die. Lights out!

The next day was rehearsal dinner which was super fun but I'll get to that next time.

To Be Continued!