I'm currently eating my carb loaded spaghetti and meatball dinner with a side of banana (for potassium) and half water/half powerade (for electrolytes and hydration) watching Sherlock Holmes alone in this hotel patiently waiting for in 12 hours I'll be waiting with about 1,000 other people for the gun to go off and then to run 13.1 miles.
I paid for this race. I paid for this hotel room. I paid to get here. I could be out having a beer but apparently me and 1,000 others are completely BONKERS and wanted to go run instead.
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| How every single non-runner sees us. Including me. |
It's for my marathon training - I'm exactly 3 weeks from the Marathon and this will be a good way to train. Or so my online trainer says. I'm 'supposed' to work on my pacing - to not start too fast and to learn when my body might need pee breaks/water breaks/walk breaks/good lord wtf am I doing breaks/call the ambulance right now breaks. I know. I'm currently thinking about how I could be home right now but here I am.
I want to work on my timing and my ability to calm myself down when I hit that "runner's wall" or whatever. The runner's high doesn't actually last the entire marathon for most - it goes away and some people get it back but I can tell that won't be me. I'm going to lose it around mile 5. Oh yay. Only 21 miles of pure agony.
While this isn't my first half marathon it is my first big race by myself. I'm not with other friends and I had to register, get the hotel, and now mentally prepare.
Mentally preparing is the worst. Typical scenario - woo, yay, excited, we're here, in the hotel on a mini vacation. I got my outfit planned out. I have my Gu (basically food like product that is literally gooey and slightly disgusting but it gives you some much needed calories and energy while running without stoping to eat a burger) and my socks and shoes and a playlist ready.
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| How most runners look. Happy. Smiling. So goddang photogenic. |
But while that's all fine, I somehow ALWAYS forget the pain right around mile 5 and how desperately I want to just end and die right there.
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| How I look running. Just. No. |
This time though...I've trained a lot more. I've ran more than 5 miles more than anyone should ever run and while I still hit the dreaded number 5 with a lot of sweat and groaning...I'm hoping I can get through that mile a lot faster this time around.
I'm also nervous at what to do at the end. I won't have anyone to run to, no one to high five or at least hug because good lord your body just went through a traumatic event and a hug is kinda like the pity prize. But here's to new experiences and learning to be ok with being alone. Even during a half marathon.
I know my body pretty well and I know I'm not going to be fast - I had a rough 2 weeks with that flag tournament and the stress took a toll and not in a good way. But I'm hoping that I can shave some time off my old time of 2 hours and 50 minutes and get around 2:40/2:30. Because that means I can finish the marathon in 5 hours (Oprah did it in 4.5 so I'm giving myself a little more time but not much more...).
So here's to that delicious spaghetti and banana and an early bed time (hello Advil PM). Wish me luck! Here's to one step closer to that marathon! (Internally screaming) It's all going to be great!
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| See you at the finish line! |
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